Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize