Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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