I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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