I just made out with a guy for $7.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize