Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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