is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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