I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's never too late to be topless.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
