the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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