I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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