u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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