What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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