Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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