My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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