i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
