Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
