and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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