pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
did i walk over a car last night?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
