I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
