How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize