You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
