its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
