I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
