"it" just moved
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
