So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
