oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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