I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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