I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my shit smells like andre
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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