I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
