Old men and throwing up are my life now.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You took a bar mat shot.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
