What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
