I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
