He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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