I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
