Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize