So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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