Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
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bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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