So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
