I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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