two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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