Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
