It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
