I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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