She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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