operation have a gay friend backfired
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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