I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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