his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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