The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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