I wish I could teleport
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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