why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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