at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
