Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
