I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
