people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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