I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
