I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
