sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
