your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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