Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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