I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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