i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
