I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
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being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize