Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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